Guest Blogger Alain Torres: Who Wears the Pants? Role reversal in type A relationships…

Businessman and businesswoman playing tug of war

I’m honored to share this guest article by Alain Torres. Alain is an international bestselling author who guides world-renowned entrepreneurs and visionary leaders who seek to connect and grow into their deepest spiritual truth as they find themselves on their journey of life.

This article is part of a series of articles from colleagues, coaches and friends who specialize in the topic of masculine and feminine energy and relationships. We will be joining together for an exclusive Facebook live event “The Raw Truth About Relationships: The Dance Between Masculine and Feminine” on Friday, October 20 at 8 p.m. central. Comment below or message me on Facebook to receive your invite! 

The four of us all come from different backgrounds and areas of expertise, and the evening is sure to be as entertaining as it is educational! We’re offering this blog series as a way to get to know each of us and as a sneak peek into what each of will be sharing during the live event. 


Who Wears the Pants? Role reversal in type A relationships…
By Alain Torres

I see it over and over again in these power dynamics.

The modern relationship shatters all traditional relationship norms – a massive shift is taking place in first world countries…

I could go into a million reasons why and this would only be a distraction from the fact that these changes are here to stay.

I’d like to share what actually matters and what you can do about it…

Before I do, if this is your situation you know what I mean when I say it’s like playing a game of Operation – hit the edges and the buzzer rocks you to your very core.

You see, when you unconsciously approach the edge of your programming, the physiological alarms of fight or flight or freeze sound off.

The typical reaction is to blame outwardly and take responsibility out of your hands.

The evolved response is to take ownership and ask the question what you did or didn’t do that contributed to the cause and effect in the first place.

When you’re in relationship with someone close, whether personal, business, and/or an intimate relationship, you have no choice but to see yourself (and your stuff).

It’s not often you run away (immediately) from those you care about most.

In this way, love is an incredible teacher – inspiring and inviting you to be unconditional when wronged, being more understanding when you get that others are no different than you, and forgiving because you see the best in them…

I have a very strong belief that we’re all inherently good and have beautiful hearts.

All we’re ever doing is enacting the roles and family dynamics we have within so we can become aware and heal these patterns that we’ve carried from our lineage.

Not to alarm you or anything, but if you don’t heal these patterns and complete them in the right way, you’re kids will carry the burden until one of them has the courage to address all the buttons, triggers, and wounds, ending the cycles.

This true healing is possible for you now. Maybe you want it, maybe you’re not ready for it…

The word-renowned leaders I coach all agree it’s most important to leave our children knowing they had the BEST role models possible…

And… I believe life, is masters level work – to grow, heal, and become our best selves thus contributing to our souls full evolution.

So…

What happens when you become more successful than your partner and it upsets the balance in your dynamic?

One client, who’s in the public eye, comes immediately to mind…

She came to me saying her significant other was holding her back from success…

Now, to be clear, she had already been experiencing success on a grand scale with a MASSIVE following, yet had slowed her trajectory because of the fear of upsetting the balance in her dynamic.

And him…?

He’s no slouch, is extremely successful in his own right – top of his game, making 6 figures a month, feeling empty…

He was left stuck in the “less than” mentality – like he was letting the family down because she had leap frogged his success.

He was stuck in the idea that he was no longer the breadwinner and she was stuck in the idea that she shouldn’t be more successful than him (and knew she was destined for BIG things!)…

She was living her life’s work and he was not aligned with his truth – this was the deeper reality present and the place where the real work began… what really mattered 😉

And the golden opportunity he didn’t see was the space she had indirectly opened up for him to find his true purpose, his true calling…

As their new way of being unfolds they continue to support each other’s full potential – a true power couple.

Because they both hit their edges in programming – they felt like a fish out of water.

All the roles preset in their minds, growing up in semi-stable traditional family dynamics – left them in an uncomfortable, uncharted territory.

This created the “issues” in their relationship as well as their individual business dynamics – you see there wasn’t really any problems only an attachment to the old way of showing up in the world.

I left you a clue above for him but what about her??

Her work has centered on healing those parts of herself so she can be the best version of herself – both inwardly and of course, outwardly.

Off she went, like a rocket – “beyond the sky is the limit” is what she told me…

So if this is you, or your relaionship dynamic, what can you do?

The first step is be honest with the stories your mind is telling you and the behaviors you’re playing out all day…

What does it get so caught up on as you’re moving onwards and upwards towards the visions you wish to create?

To further clarify, where does your mind overthink and give away so much of your energy and power? What are those thoughts, feelings, and emotions?

And the second, the missing link that most people rarely realize when they’re on the path of becoming the best version of themselves, is to heal BOTH the good and the bad.

For the longest time I only healed all the negative things within me, the things I deemed as wrong and not the most enlightened version of myself…

This is only one side of the coin… the other is healing all the positive… the good.

You see, we live in duality – there’s both good and bad.

Yin and yang.

Positive and negative.

In order for you to integrate and become one with all of yourself, you have to heal both sides.

That’s right!

If you don’t heal the “good” then you’ll always be attached to the good and will then by default have a definition of what’s “bad…” – this keeps you stuck in old ways of thinking and old behaviors.

Healing both sides of the coin is the most profound thing you will ever do… not just for yourself and your family, but for the world that you’re meant to leave an impact on in the greatest way possible.

Remember our thoughts become our reality, whether we like it or not, that’s the truth.

It’s totally cool if you want to stay where you’re at, but if you’re ready to move in the direction you’re hearts pulling your toward, then take the first step.

Face it… you got this!

Let me know you thoughts below, I know this will stir up a thing or two…

Sharing the power,

Alain


About Alain
Alain is an international bestselling author who guides world-renowned entrepreneurs and visionary leaders who seek to connect and grow into their deepest spiritual truth as they find themselves on their journey of life.

Over the last 12 years, Alain has notably prevented a client from losing a nearlybilliondollar company, helped an individual 

Alain

from the Department of Defense to find his soulmate, and has empowered his high profile clientele to make sense of the deeper soul journey that’s taking place through their personal development in the areas of dating, relationships, health and wellness, and business.

With his inner exploration of 4,500+ documented hours of meditation and over 100 ayahuasca ceremonies seeking enlightenment and healing in the last 5 years, Alain found what he was looking for and brings forth his one of a kind wisdom into his exclusive and invitation only coaching practice.

He walks these truth seekers through his proven process with a playful style so they can declutter their minds for success, increase their energy, focus, and efficiency, and reprogram their subconscious to let go of the inner conflict so they can live in alignment with their highest self and manifest the life they desire. Alain is the founder of Power Couples Project, and has been seen on Huffington Post, FOX, ABC, NBC, CBS, Inc., and Entrepreneur Magazine.

 

Guest Blogger Andi Bond: “3 Important Lessons about Relationships and your Spirit”

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I’m honored to share my first-ever guest article by Andi Bond. Andi is spiritual healer and the owner of “Inspired Insight.” See her full bio below. 

I’m running a series of articles from colleagues, coaches and friends who specialize in the topic of masculine and feminine energy and relationships. We will be joining together for an exclusive Facebook live event “The Raw Truth About Relationships: The Dance Between Masculine and Feminine” on Friday, October 20 at 8 p.m. central. Comment below or message me on Facebook to receive your invite! 

The four of us all come from different backgrounds and areas of expertise, and the evening is sure to be as entertaining as it is educational! We’re offering this blog series as a way to get to know each of us and as a sneak peek into what each of will be sharing during the live event. 


3 Important Lessons about Relationships and your Spirit”
By Andi Bond 

I have some thoughts on the nature of relationships and would like to share something that was one of the biggest breakthroughs I have ever experienced. I have seen so many people struggling with this dynamic lately and it’s something that is potentially life changing. This may be a bit lengthy, but bear with me…. trust me, it’s worth it.

There are 3 very important lessons I have learned.

Here is what I experienced:

A couple of years ago, I was experiencing tremendous fear and anxiety as the result of an incredible connection. This sounds strange, but I became so afraid that I was finding love only to inevitably lose it. The feeling of stress was palpable and overwhelming. It affected me physically.

Lesson #1 – The Subconscious Effect of Stories we tell Ourselves

I have been on a spiritual path for some time and have practiced meditation for years now. As a result, I was able to quickly realize that my feelings weren’t necessarily about the situation at hand… there was some deeper pattern involved. I asked to be shown the pattern, and it was like looking at a movie in fast forward. I realized that in my past when I had an important man in my life and then lost them through death, a breakup, or divorce, a period of darkness followed. My entire being was operating as if this story were true, that if I found love and lost it, darkness would follow. I was responding subconsciously to a belief that wasn’t true. It was incredible – the level of panic I experienced in my body was intense. However, as soon as I was able to see that this “story” I had been believing was not true, I was able to shift immediately. A change happened in an instant. I experienced relief at once.

You see, your entire reality can and will shift in an instant the moment you release false beliefs and stories!Andi 2

Lesson #2 – My Heart Belongs to Spirit

Of course, life continues to show us lessons to be learned. Later in the week, I was experiencing fear and anxiety again. However, this time it was different. That night, I attended a mantra and meditation event led by dear friends. At one point, I was laying on the floor with my eyes closed after doing a heart opening exercise. Tears began streaming down my face. Again, like being struck by lightning, I was shown that in the past with each of the men that I had lost, I had attached my heart directly to theirs.

Hold on a minute… aren’t we supposed to give our heart to people? NO!!! I saw what looked like chords of light attached from my heart to theirs. I had become dependent on them for my happiness and wellbeing. I mentally visualized myself “cutting the chords” with each of them and took the time to mentally take responsibility for this unhealthy dynamic. I also mentally apologized to each of them and sent a prayer that they be happy and fulfilled. It was wrong of me to place such a demand upon them. I saw that I was repeating this again with my most recent connection. I very gently severed this chord as well and later apologized to him personally for making him feel in any way that he was responsible for my well-being. What I saw in the moment I did this was this chord of light come into my heart and shoot directly up to God. My heart belongs to the Divine.

You see, I will never again give my heart to another human being – family, friend or partner. This in no way means that I will not share love in my relationships with family, friends or my romantic partner. In fact, it means the exact opposite. I will share my love from a place of fullness and peace rather than expect or need to be fulfilled by them.

Lesson #3 – The Energetic Exchange in Relationships

The relationship dynamic that creates endless opportunities for growth, joy, passion, and love is such that both people are plugged into a source of love that is deeper than themselves. They both draw their individual power from this source and share the overflow between each other.

I had the understanding yesterday while speaking with someone who was experiencing difficulties in her relationship that what commonly happens is that one person will “connect” or “plug-in” to the other person as their source of happiness and power. While both may have felt full, happy with their life, and connected to their spiritual selves in the beginning, the feelings of love are so overwhelming that one or both people see the other person as their source of happiness. They stop doing their spiritual practice, taking care of their individual soul and finding a way to tap into something that charges them fully.

It’s a lot like charging your phone. Plugging into your spiritual practice through prayer, meditation, exercise, reading or doing things that fill your soul is like plugging yourself into a socket of spirit.

Our beautiful world is a source of endless energy, inspiration and power. You are able to fully charge yourself and share your fullness with your partner. However, when one or both views the other as the source of their power, it’s like plugging the phone into your computer to charge it. If the computer is plugged into a socket, this will work for a while, but the power from the computer will still be redirected to charge the phone rather than using the power to fully charge the battery of the computer. If the computer is not plugged in, both devices will eventually be drained.

I have seen this over and over again recently with friends. One person becomes dependent on the other for their energy and power and it inevitably leads to the breakdown of the relationship and draining of both people.

Plug into the source and share the overflow!!!!

✨ ✨ Andi Bond

Andi graduated with honors from the University of Colorado, Boulder – where she studied Engineering and Astrophysics and graduated with a degree in International Marketing and Spanish with a Minor in Business. She holds a Masters Certification in the study of Consciousness, Meditation, Vedic Astrology and Sanskrit from Shruti Institute for Vedic Arts as well as receiving Meditation Instructor training from One World Academy

Throughout her education and spiritual journey, she has been blessed with the opportunity to study under incredible teachers. She has studied under direct disciples of:

  • Maharishi Mahesh Yogi – founder of TM
  • Sri Sri Ravi Shankar – founder of The Art of Living
  • Paramahansa Yogananda – Author of Autobiography of a Yogi
  • Her Holiness Amma Sri Karunamayi

facebook.com/andibond108 ~ http://www.andibond.com

Costa Rica Week 1: Dancing in the Rain

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Costa Rica – the land of green landscape, volcanos, beautiful beaches, world-class waves and “Pura Vida” or the pure life.

I arrived last Tuesday ready to embrace everything Costa Rica had to offer and begin another Iron Gypsy adventure.

One of the things on my list was “Latin dancing.” I love to dance; however, one of my limiting beliefs is that when a partner is added — all of sudden I go from a free spirit with a little bit of rhythm to an awkward teenager dancing with a boy at the junior high dance for the first time.

Either way, my idea of dancing and what the universe delivered must have gotten lost in translation – but the experience was very similar in that I once again felt like an awkward teenager.

Stick with me, and let me explain.

The arrival

I arrived on a rainy night after dark. It’s rainy season and since Costa Rica is close to the equator, it gets dark by about 6 pm and light by 6 am year-round.

I had arranged for a trustworthy tour company to transport me the 90 minute drive from San Jose to Jaco. As a single female traveler, I do not mess around with public transport when I arrive in a new place at night. NOT WORTH SAVING A BUCK!

Everything went smoothly. He showed me around the small city of Jaco, took me to the local grocery store (Costa Rica’s version of Wal-Mart), translated the check-in conversation with the guards at the complex and helped me get all of my bags up to my condo in the pouring rain. He was a genuinely kind soul, and I felt very fortunate.

When I woke up the next day, I literally had to pinch myself. I was in Costa Rica! EEEEEK! I’ve wanted to travel here for so long! A couple of of years ago, I looked into surf camps here. But since I am now living this “nomadic gypsy lifestyle,” why not try Costa Rica for a little longer? Combine surfing and scenery with a city that has highspeed Wifi and the comforts of home – like a coffee pot and a gym with a squat rack.  Therefore, I decided to rent a place in Jaco for two months.

My first outing was nice. I saw the beach, checked out the city seeing all of the American options like Subway and KFC tucked in next to the Costa Rican “sodas.”

I checked into a local gym where there were a few others who appeared to be “non-local” but the majority were speaking Spanish and looked very “at home.” I immediately felt disconnected from people and embarassed that I do not speak fluent Spanish.  Yes, I’ve traveled to many countries where I did not speak the language. Spanish is different. I  wish that I had more command of the language than the few words I’ve managed to hold onto from senior year of high school.

Connection is HUGE for me…And this made me very uncomfortable and ashamed.

Then the rain came…

This time of the year, it’s typical for rain to set in during the afternoon. Sometimes it rains all day. So I committed that I would enjoy the mornings while the sun was out – walking the beach to get to the gym, handling any other errands on my way home and possibly hitting the beach early in the day – allowing me to focus on work in the afternoons when the rain set in.

This was the routine for most of last week. I  felt a shift – adapting to a new energy, a new routine, a new culture, a different climate, a language barrier, etc. I usually do feel a shift and a time of transition when I come to a new place; however, during my previous travels I was in each location for such a short time it felt much different. It was much less “permanent.” If the vibe was off – not to worry. I would be in a new location in a week or less.

Then the weekend set in. The shift in energy became more intense.

I woke up on Saturday to rain — and Sunday as well. Plans to go surfing were cancelled due to rain.

As I spent those days alone in my place besides the rainy trips to the gym, my mind began to fixate on everything that was wrong with this situation – AND BEYOND THAT — everything that is wrong with ME.

My body.

My business.

My personality.

The place.

My inner dialogue was ugly!

So what the “f” happened? How did this positive “Iron Gypsy” completely fall off everything she talks about daily? Everything she stands for? Everything she coaches? Everything she’s worked so hard to change in herself?

Learning to dance

At this moment, I don’t know exactly where all of these bullshit stories came from or why I suddenly became overwhelmed with them – but I do know there is a reason that is bigger than what I can comprehend today.

I know reading this, at least half of you will have an extremely negative response, and I don’t blame you. Looking back at it, I’m ashamed – embarrassed – that I thought this way.

I am completely aware that I was in one of the most beautiful countries in the world, living my dream of helping people live healthier, happier lives, steps away from the beach in a great condo — and I was finding everything wrong with this place, me and life in general.

#firstworldproblems

Yup. I agree. Part of me believes it’s despicable and embarrassing.

So why am I sharing this? Why is someone so dedicated to “self-love” sharing a post about how she spent her first five days in one of the most beautiful countries in the world beating herself up and questioning everything about her life?

Because…It needs to be shared.

Yes, I’m ashamed. Yes, I’m embarrassed. Yes, I’m quite surprised by what came over me, but at the same time – I hear the voice of my soul saying:

“You’re human.”

Often times we hold ourselves and others to a God-like standard. I catch myself thinking that because I have “done the work,” and have learned the lesson once before that I am never allowed a moment of what feels like going backwards. I expect perfection and a journey forward with no bumps. I judge myself for being HUMAN — when that’s what we are  created to be.

If we were capable of being representations of God, living in a state of perfection at every moment – would we be here? I honestly don’t know. What I do believe is that we are here to learn. And sometimes it takes us “falling off our pedestal” – the one we mentally put ourselves on and the ones that we place others on — to be reminded of the bigger picture. We’re here to learn, and we are created to be HUMAN not GOD.

We have God in us – absolutely. When we work with our Creator, we are capable of anything and everything. However, that doesn’t always unfold the way WE want it to. The lessons and the rainy days and the “awkward” dances are there to teach us something. I believe the Creator’s job is not to make us believe we are perfect in every moment, but to help us see that we are perfect in every moment because of our imperfection.

So…now can you relate?

How many times have all of us been in a similar position – where we feel sorry for ourselves, get all “woe is me” – yet we know how blessed we are? And then we beat ourselves up for  having those stupid thoughts, and we feel even worse about ourselves.

Ring any bells?

Yes, this can happen whether the situation is a gypsy living in Costa Rica, someone with a beautiful family or famous athlete or performer making millions of dollars a year.

Our location and circumstances do not always dictate how “happy” and sane our thoughts are.

One thing is certain, this was not a setback, but a moment of growth. The fact that I was able to dip so low and pull myself out of it (with a little help from a great mentor) is a victory in my book!

So what do I believe really happened here? What is the lesson? And what did I do to pull myself out of this?

 CLIFFHANGER!

Watch for next weeks’ blog post where I will share what I did to get back to me and how my “dancing” skills and rhythm are getting better every day here in Costa Rica.

But…know this. EVERY IRON GYPSY STORY WILL HAVE A HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

No need to worry mom and dad — or all my beautiful family members, Tribe members and friends throughout the world. I am in LOVE with this place and rhythm I have found here! I mean that!

Since these days are behind me everything looks different – I MEAN EVERYTHING! It even smells different! It’s beautiful and everything I hoped it would be! It wasn’t the location. IT WAS ME!

Most importantly, I am growing throughout this experience and that my friends, is why I am here! I am living my true purpose every day.

The smile you see in the photos – it’s real. When it’s not real, you will know. Also, know this. Even on the days when I don’t feel like smiling, deep down, I know I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.

I’m trusting the process, enjoying the journey, writing my own story and learning to dance – even in the rain!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The journey continues: Costa Rica

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It was an early morning for this lovely lady (my mom) and I considering I had a 6:50 flight and a 2 hour drive to the airport prior. I don’t believe in “goodbyes” only “see you laters.”

Today, I begin another phase in my journey. I’m headed to Costa Rica for two months – ready for more adventure, learning and growing.

On my last flight, I asked myself what I hope to find in Costa Rica. Of course there are things I want to do and see – exploring, surfing, gym time, yoga, writing, days at the beach, learning about a new culture and continuing to serve my Iron Gypsy clients. Sure, it’d be great if I met some interesting people – or maybe the love of my life. Haha!

But as far as major expectations, the truth is — once again — I have no idea why I’m going to Costa Rica.

And that feels like…

Freedom!

Each day, I’m learning about letting go. Being present. Choosing to create harmony in every situation and choosing to see life through the lens of unconditional love.

I could take this same journey anywhere! I’m fortunate that my life path and my intuition has led me to do it in Costa Rica.

I’ve realized is that this journey is not about finding answers or being attached to specific ideas about what it will be. It’s about letting go of the need – the attachment – to a specific outcome.

I do not know why my heart has called me to this place. I do not know what interesting adventures I will have, what amazing people I will meet or what lessons I will learn.

I do know that looking back at where I’ve come from and where I am today, all of the pieces fit together as part of a crazy, one-of-a-kind masterpiece. There is beauty in the twists, turns, bumps and even the pit stops.

This is sure to be another brushstroke, another piece, another gorgeous jewel in the masterpiece I am creating in each moment.

I can embrace each moment — knowing I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.

And so, the Iron Gypsy Journey continues.

Today, I will simply enjoy the act of creating.

I will enjoy the journey.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roots and Wings: Iron Gypsy on “Family”

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While spending time in North Dakota these past few months I was reminded of my roots — the love of the Tweed family I was born into and the small town environment I grew up in.

Each member of our family is unique — with our own strengths, points of view and personalities. This is what makes our relationship so beautiful and what makes us FAMILY.

As I spent time in this special place, I remembered the magic of this state.

North Dakota may be rural and sparsely populated, but it will always hold a special place in my heart. These people are my family — my roots. They showed me how to care about those around me and see them as more than just people. North Dakotans share a special bond, and this family bond runs deep.

As my summer back in North Dakota comes to a close, I look at my life with so much gratitude — for the family I was born into, for the new family members that have joined us and for all the people who are part of my extended family. I have gratitude for my community and state, my “Iron Gypsy Tribe,” and those I’ve met while living in different cities, through my travels and courses, and on my many adventures in life thus far.

Whether blood or “soul family” — I know one thing for sure. The people in our lives are “called in” for a reason.

Everyone who is part of our journey is there to help us learn what we are here to understand in this lifetime.

We are all teachers and students in this journey of life. This is what connects us as “family” — and as humans.

We’re all on this crazy journey together — learning, growing, loving and experiencing. At our core, we all have the same fears and the same limitations. And the best way I’ve found to navigate this crazy life is to help one another, focus on our shared experiences on this earth and to see one another as that — as family.

Thank you to my “family” — blood and soul — for being part of my wild, passionate journey. All of you have played a part in who I am and who I am becoming. And you make each day of this journey even better than the last.

Love and light to the Tweed family and to all!

XOXO,

Kesley

(aka Iron Gypsy)

7 Health and Fitness Mistakes and Iron Gypsy’s Secrets to Success

PREFER TO WATCH THE VIDEO VERSION? Click here! 

MISTAKE #1: All or nothing.

This is the number one challenge that so many of us deal with. We start with great intentions. We start ‘ON FIRE’ ready to make a change once and for all. The minute we “fall off,” we immediately throw in the towel. Or we don’t start at all because we are waiting for the perfect time.

IRON GYPSY’S KEY TO SUCCESS:  Progress, not perfection. 

Three of my favorite phrases when it comes to health and fitness — or life — are:

  • “Enjoy the journey.”
  • “Progress, not perfection.
  • Choices babe.”

Whatever you do, it’s not worth it if you’re miserable every second of the process. So, we in the “Iron Gypsy Tribe” like to think of it as  the 1 percent rule or 90/10! We strive for 1 percent improvement each day. 90 percent of the time, we are “on point” with our health. 10 percent of the time we choose to indulge just a little. It all comes down to conscious choices, not perfection — choosing what is best for us in each moment.

MISTAKE #2 – Less is best.

One of the biggest mistakes I see with nutrition is believing that eating less is the key to weight loss. We don’t have to starve to see results. Sipping shakes, eating diet food or counting macros is not the way to long-lasting health and happiness.

IRON GYPSY’S KEY TO SUCCESS:  Choosing healthy, natural, nutrient dense, real food. 

Fuel your body with adequate amounts of the RIGHT foods and improve metabolism by making health a priority!  In the Iron Gypsy programs, you’ll learn how to choose the right foods and portion sizes to fuel your body improving metabolism, digestion, gym performance, concentration, energy and your overall outlook on life! No weighing foods, tracking or macro counting!

MISTAKE #3: More is better.

One of the biggest mistakes I see – and I made this one forever – is that more cardio, more reps, more weight, more training sessions is better. The answer is NOT ALWAYS! If you cannot do the movements properly – with intention – you will not see results and you will expose yourself to injury. Overdoing the cardio is also a mistake I made for so long. It just doesn’t work!

IRON GYPSY’S KEY TO SUCCESS:  Train with intention. 

You’ll learn how to perform movements in a way that will get you results without injury and spending your life at the gym. Clients LOVE this style of training for the way it makes them feel – and look! The best part is, it doesn’t require heavy weights or fancy workouts. To start, you can train at home with a set of dumbbells! You’ll learn to strength train in a way that is fun and effective and add cardio, yoga and mobility work WITH INTENTION!

MISTAKE #4: Short-term syndrome.

Just about every health and fitness program can work – for a while! But does it really make you healthier and happier long-term?

IRON GYPSY’S KEY TO SUCCESS:  Put your health and happiness first. 

Make your goal about your health and how you feel on the inside. With the Iron Gypsy program, our goal is longevity – health and happiness long-term! We build a LIFESTYLE that make you LOOK AND FEEL GOOD and that you’ll want to maintain over time.

MISTAKE #5: One size fits all. 

The same nutrition and the same training strategy is not going to work for everyone. Not only because of various body types but because of different phases of life, different lifestyles and more. Also, many clients of “non-negotiables.” For example…When I first started my health and fitness journey, I didn’t want to give up my red wine and sushi nights! And I was traveling for work several nights each month.

IRON GYPSY’S KEY TO SUCCESS:  Learn to listen to your body and your own intuition. 

I’ll guide you on how to listen to your body and will provide the education and building blocks to  help you make the right decisions for you. This is not a cookie-cutter, drill sergeant approach. We work as a team to build a lifestyle you enjoy.

MISTAKE #5: Going at it alone.

For so many years, I struggled. I tried everything I could find in magazines, went to group exercise classes and bought at-home workout DVDs. But I never once went to a personal trainer. I thought that was for the rich people.

For one, that’s a very limiting mindset! Number two, there is so much misleading information out there it’s impossible to make sense or stay on top of all of it.

IRON GYPSY’S KEY TO SUCCESS:  Find a coach and a “tribe!”

Invest in a coach who inspires and educates you — someone who not only talks the talk, but walks the walk! Someone who knows their stuff and can help you get results much more quickly than going at it alone. Find a group – a tribe of people you enjoy – who lift you up! Whether it’s Iron Gypsy or another group or coach, I believe this is CRITICAL to success.

MISTAKE #7: A one-dimensional approach.

Tackling ONLY fitness, ONLY nutrition or ONLY mindset or spirituality won’t work long-term and will lead to a life and a body that is out of balance. We can create an amazing body, but if we’re not right on the inside, the results won’t stick or may not come at all. For me, I managed to get the results but I still wasn’t whole on the inside resulting in an unfillable void in my soul.

IRON GYPSY’S KEY TO SUCCESS: A true mind, body and spirit approach.

I believe this is the biggest differentiating factor for Iron Gypsy. This program is not only about looking good (you will get amazing results) — but feeling healthy and happy. IT’S ABOUT LEARNING WHO YOU ARE AT YOUR CORE AND LIVING FROM THE SOUL.

I’ve built Iron Gypsy on hours of research, dozens of classes and travels around the world! It combines what I’ve learned through yoga, meditation,  self-development courses, Precision Nutrition, Poliquin certification, training with top body builders and so much more. My content is always expanding as I continue to work on my personal growth. This is not only my work – but the sharing of my personal journey and what I believe is my current mission in this lifetime.

Whether you decide to make your health and fitness journey with Iron Gypsy or another way, I urge you to make now the time that you stop settling for less than what you deserve – for less than who you truly are. If I can help, please contact me at kesleytweed@gmail.com.

My next Iron Gypsy Journey pre-program activities kick off this weekend! Executive coaching is now available for professionals, entrepreneurs and other BUSY PEOPLE who want accountability and personalized coaching. Spaces will be limited. Contact me for details!

Intuition, truth and the voice of love

Let your intuition be your guide.

Each day, I’m learning more and more about who I really am. I’m learning how to listen to my inner voice of truth — my intuition — and make conscious choices based on this.

If sounds like a process of becoming, that’s partially true. But mostly it’s a practice of letting go.

It’s learning to live in the present and let go of past beliefs, future expectations and what others — or my ego — think.

It’s a practice of choosing LOVE over FEAR in EVERY MOMENT.

Am I perfect? No, but each day I feel more whole. More awake. More free.

Sometimes, following our intuition is  simple. Sometimes, it’s much more difficult. Yesterday, my intuition took me down a road I had never been down before. It said, “Listen to this song. Look this way. Enjoy this moment.” Yesterday, it was easy. And I had new revelations and let go — just a little more.

That is not always the case. Sometimes, our intuition challenges us. It calls us to release things that we’ve been clinging to for so long — habits and ways of thinking that no longer serve us. But it’s through answering these calls that we grow the most. Our intuition challenges us to hear the difference between love and fear and to draw a line between what’s our ego clinging to the familiar versus the real truth calling for us to expand our comfort zone.

The voice of fear and the voice of truth and love are MUCH different. If you begin to listen, you will hear it — AND FEEL IT — too.

They say the secret to succcess is to follow your “bliss.” Each day I see more and more that this is actually true. The more we let go and follow our intuition and “bliss” — the more we will give and receive. We will not only have more love. We will become and live in a state of LOVE.

So, where to start? Listen for the voice of truth in you. Trust it. Let your intuition be your guide. Choose love over fear. Your truth is not a voice of fear or judgment. It’s the voice of love.

xoxo,
Kesley
aka “Iron Gypsy”

Forgiveness and Unconditional Love

Today marks the beginning of a new era for the Iron Gypsy blog. 

As you know, it’s been quite some time since my last post. I have been focusing on giving my all to my Iron Gypsy Coaching clients, attending additional courses (including Tony Robbins Business Mastery, Tony Robbins Leadership Academy and Reiki Level I and II certification), continuing with my own spiritual and health journey and growing other social media platforms including the Iron Gypsy YouTube channel.

All the while, I’ve been beating myself up for neglecting my passion project — the Iron Gypsy blog. 

So today, I made a decision. No longer will the fear of imperfection get in the way of progress. No longer will the fear of not being perfect get in the way of sharing the Iron Gypsy mission. No longer will I continue to beat myself up for what I’m NOT doing with the Iron Gypsy blog.

I will focus on WHAT I CAN DO! 

So, from here on out, you will see more stories! Some of the stories will be content that was shared through other social media platforms. Some will be snippets of content that I’m sharing with the Iron Gypsy Tribe (aka my coaching clients). Some will be raw, nearly unedited original content or a melding of content from various sources.

It will be imperfect. But it will be content that I feel passionate about sharing. This will also allow me to continue to reach those not on other social media platforms, while at the same time continue to place emphasis on my current projects and my future (other) passion project — a book! 

To kick things off, I want to share some content originally developed for Instagram that really captures the moment and essence of this decision. 

Next week, I leave for Costa Rica, so stay tuned for that. Additionally, I will be sharing random thoughts that have come up over the last couple of months since my last post. One thing is for certain when it comes to the future of Iron Gypsy — it will be a real, beautifully raw and wild ride!

Stay with me, friends! Love and light to you all! 

xoxo,

Kesley (aka Iron Gypsy) 

“Forgive yourself.”

This was what came to me in meditation this morning when I completed the assignment given to me by my reiki and spiritual teacher.

“Forgive myself for what?”

All the places I should be, other than where I am. All the things I should be doing, other than what I am doing. All the things I didn’t do. All the people I didn’t help. All the things I am not.

I find myself focusing on and beating myself up for all I am “NOT” instead of finding peace in the present and WHAT IS.

Why do I deserve this forgiveness?

We all do. We are all human. We were born to be perfectly imperfect.

If we cannot love and forgive ourselves, how can we find that same forgiveness for others? At our core, we are all the same — HUMAN.

So as I continue to reflect on the topic of unconditional love…this is where I am today.

To love we must forgive. And forgiveness and love starts in YOU.

 

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Why I’m “Owning My Weird” …and why you should too

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Yes, I’m a weirdo, and I’m proud to say it! But let me tell you, life as a weirdo is SO MUCH FUN! When we own our weird, we let go of “what will others think” and simply ENJOY THE JOURNEY.  When we “own our weird,” we encourage others to be themselves. There is beauty (and fun) in living our truth. When we own our weird, we radiate love, authenticity and overall good vibes. Shine on, weirdos. xoxo

I’ve always been a little weird. “Quirky,” some have said. 

I’m been known to do silly things like going to the wrong airport on the morning of a business trip or riding my bike to class in college only to show up with a hole in the behind of my jeans.

I laugh at my own jokes. I hate puzzles. And I love 80s rock music and peanut butter.

I can be a pain in the ass if I don’t want to do something (or if I’m hangry), but I’m a bundle of energy and laughter and joy when my heart is in it.

My nose crinkles when I smile; and I’ve always had a face full of freckles; a strong, broad torso and skinny ankles.

As a child, while many kids loved playing video games and hide and go seek, my favorite activities were reading, journaling and writing to my pen pals from throughout the country.

Today, I’m 34 years old and I’ve made the choice to leave behind the “normal” life for an untraditional approach that includes travel, leading a “weird” yet effective health and happiness coaching program and on a daily basis combining two of my biggest passions that on the surface could not seem more opposite – meditation and bodybuilding.

Do all of these things make me weird?

Honestly, I hope the answer is yes.

You see, I believe weird is beautiful.

Being “weird” means we have the courage to show who we are to the world. I believe that each of us was created to be “weird.” We were born with unique and special gifts. Many of us are so busy trying to “fit in” that we are afraid to step out and share ourselves with the world.

I think we are afraid of being too much and not enough – all at the same time.

I have struggled with a lifetime of “people pleasing” and fear, and each day work toward further release of my limiting beliefs. I’m working toward becoming authentically “me” and loving all of it.

Let me give you an example. When I first launched my Iron Gypsy blog, I was terrified. I feared that people would pick apart my every word – that they would analyze and critique and find me unintelligent and “basic.” What right did I have to start a blog? I’m just a normal 34-year-old woman who likes to travel and talk about life. It’s nothing to write a blog about! In other words, I feared I was not enough.

On the other hand, I feared that I would be too “out there” — too much. That by sharing how my brain works, people would truly see how weird I am. There is no way anyone else thinks the things that I do!

Surprisingly, they do. Many of you have reached out to share how my “weird” stories have resonated with you. This has meant the world to me. I think so many of us live in isolation, afraid to speak out and share our true selves. We tell ourselves we’re crazy, when in reality – we’re all crazy. At least, I believe we are if we’re having any fun at all in life. Even more importantly, we have got to be a little crazy and bold if we are on a path of love and growth in this lifetime.

So damn, I found out I’m not nearly as weird as I thought I was!

“Oh, no you’re still plenty weird,” I can hear my friends, family and likely a couple of ex-boyfriends saying.

Heck yes, I’m weird. And I’m going to own that shit!

Why?

Well, as I’ve said, I believe weird is beautiful. Weird is unapologetically showing yourself to the world. Sharing your gifts, your strengths and your imperfections. Owning your weird is not being afraid to go out in public without make-up on. It’s sharing a social media post where you’re not in the most beautiful lighting and pose but you’ve got something to say. Owning your weird is sharing your true feelings even if it results in an “ugly cry.”

Owning your weird is admitting your passion for something outside the norm — say that you like to dance alone in your living room when you have writer’s block – and being proud of it. Owning your weird is sharing stories of the silly things you do – like going to the gym and leaving your car running the entire time or accidentally throwing your phone in the water…again! (Yup, both those, right here!)

Owning your weird is loving that you have freckles and a crinkled up nose when you laugh and LOVING the fact that you can bring yourself to tears with your own jokes. Owning your weird is admitting that sometimes you turn on sappy songs just so you can shed some tears and that you believe you can send energy to those you love even when they’re not in your presence. Owning your weird is admitting you really like peanut butter and cottage cheese on sweet potatoes and that you still dance a little jig everytime “Mmmmmm Bop” comes on.

Yes, all of those things are me. And yup, I’m owning ALL THAT SHIT!

But owning your weird is also being proud of and willing to share your strengths! We need to stop hiding our God-given talents for fear of what others will think. This is a disgrace to the world and our creator! This is not bragging. This is shining, and helping others shine! I love this quote by Diane von Furstenberg:

“I have always believed that when you have a voice, you  have an obligation to use that voice to empower others.”

I believe this is the truth. You were given your strengths, talents and unique beauty for a reason. Use it. Anything less, is, well…selfish! 

On the contrary, I do not believe that “owning our weird” is a free pass to the following:

  • This is me so, “F” you.
  • The world revolves around me.
  • I’m better than you.
  • We’re different, so I don’t want to hear your opinion.
  • I’m not perfect. I’ll never be perfect, so why even try?

Owning our weird is not about drawing lines in the sand, creating a platform from which to speak down to others or separating ourselves from others. It’s not about giving up, saying we’re perfect just as we are and walking around like we’ve earned a gold star for life and never need to learn or listen for the rest of our lives.

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it 1,000 times. I believe we are here in this lifetime to grow and to give and to LOVE. Love starts with ourselves but it doesn’t end there.

There are still things that I’m struggling to accept about myself – those dark places that I’m not yet ready to face. There are also things I’m not even aware of yet. But that’s what I believe life is all about. There are things we love and things we have not yet learned to love. Loving ALL of ourselves, while continuing to grow, is one of life’s biggest challenges. 

Because when we love ourselves, when we “own our weird,” we show our beauty to the world. We do not need to rely on others to fill us up because we’ve accepted and learned to love ourselves despite external reactions.

When we “own our weird” we shine our brightest. Owning our weird is not just about looking good. When we own our weird, our souls shine. We radiate love. When we shine our brightest, we give others the permission and courage to shine too.

So, let’s shine together.

Weirdos unite!

Own your weird because weird is beautiful.